Saturday, October 29, 2016

So I thought it was a kids toy...

So I got up this Saturday am and worked and then decided to take some ashes to the Chattahoochee River where he liked to go growing up and as he aged he'd go for blowing off steam and think.

The last time we went together it was Oct 5 2014 and he was skipping rocks. It was two days before his 50th Birthday. 

This time I had him in a ziploc bag and a water bottle to scatter him. 
I walked to the same spot along the river not thinking what was to happen next - at all. 

I noticed someting at the end of the small jetty and I thought it was a kids toy, maybe a pile of rocks stacked or maybe.... THIS.

A small Ganesha standing in the middle with yellow petals, incense and candles - had been lit at one point and then left behind. Ganesha is the one of the most widely recognized gods of the Hindu beliefs.
Here's a more formal answer: 
Ganesha is widely revered as the remover of obstacles, the patron of arts and sciences and the deva of intellect and wisdom. As the god of beginnings, he is honoured at the start of rituals and ceremonies. Ganesha is also invoked as patron of letters and learning during writing sessions.

So I had to look it up right? Well, all I could do was type in Hindu elephant. 
My mind stopped. I began to cry and cry... I didn't know what to do. I wanted to take it home. But I realized it wasn't mine. It was for me to be with for the moment but not 'steal' thinking bad luck or shame would be bestowed on me. 

I prayed with it, I touched its hand that is palm facing and I kissed it.

As I began to read about this Ganesha this afternoon I found out that is resides in the first chakra - Muladhara where your base is or your foundation is. It supports all the other chakras in our bodies... 
we carry a lot of stuff in ours. 

A formal meaning -  Root Chakra is located at the base of the spine and controls the energy for kinesthetic feeling and movement. It is the foundation of physical energy and spiritual energy for the body. So when someone says I got your back or your spineless... it's based on this very Chakra. If someone might say that person has a good foundation of life... boom - Muladhara - it is. 

I have been waiting for a sign for months and weeks about this transitional period I feel like this is the sign I've been waiting for. While I've been doing some soul searching and working with a business coach, I've been very sad at the same time. This journey has been hard but I've been working hard at it. I have lost a dear friend, a father in law, a husband and maybe a sock or two in the dryer. I have had to sit and wait for a long time to gain some kind of visual wisdom and understanding. 

As I walked around, crying and talking to him, I looked at the ground for something, a rock or a feather or something... I tried to skip rocks - can't do it. I found two rocks that I feel that are another sign of loss and headling... a half of a heart and a heart shaped - sorta. 

Then I made my way towards the under the bridge area where I scattered some more where I think he'd liked to be. I went and sat in a bench area but got restless and went on. I passed dog walkers, bikers and families... I had my sunglasses on so it helped to hide my pain and tears. But I also think there was a lot of joy in them tears. He's telling me that moving on is ok - he's in transition and I am too. He's been hanging with the monks I guess... 

So as I am walking around the river, a song is coming over me. 
Elvis Costello's "Peace, Love And Understanding" which was one of his faves. He'd sing at night and ask me how it sounded... fine I would tell him. 

Sigh. So after the Ganesha and the walk around, under the bridge, the bench break, I make my way to this smaller area where I could sit on a big rock and take my time. I blend him in the water and use a stick to swish it around - dissolving it. Ashes are hard to get to mix in with water sometimes especially when it's still water. 

As I got up to go, I am physically tired now, it's been an emotional healing roller coaster, I try to get up and my right leg slips and goes knee deep in the same spot that the ashes are ... as if he's saying move on but don't forget... 

I look up and I can see him slightly in my vision laughing. So now I am walking with him in my shoe, my sock and my jean leg - great. As I walk along the path again, I see life carrying on as it's supposed to. I see butterflies, puppies, children and falling leaves from the trees. I have been trying to read, pray and ask friends who don't know the answers to learn. No one knows what to say. It's impossible. 

This brings me to the end - I decide that I am going to go light the Ganesha candles, but I find out I can't. I don't have a way to make fire. 

Maybe next time right?

I get in the car and drive to the mall... I buy perfume and some lingerie. Retail Therapy is a must right? 

I really feel this is a huge relief to me and as I continue my healing and journey, I will really rely on my base, my foundation and my Muladhara. You can't read about it, you can only come upon it at the same place, the same river and on the same day Duane Allman died to get it. 

Happy October 29th. It's a new beginning... 


Thursday, October 13, 2016

Silver Platters Aren't Really Silver

Silver Platters aren't really silver, are they?

So I asked, "what did the show Nashville do to get all that Nashville music involved in the show?"

I was told, by another woman, "it's cause they have a $10 Billion dollar music industry."

I bit my lip and said, "well there has to be a secret to it..."

But what I should've said was, "So?"

Cause it was the right answer. It would've challenged the woman to think.  Who cares if Nashville has a huge music industry... if you are trying to bring in the money and keep it in your home state try this... do whatever they did, twist it up and make it work. Don't cop out.

The state of Georiga has been a breeding ground to some of the best creative types around the world from Joanne Woodward to REM to Ray Charles to James Brown to Zac Brown to Sugarland to Lewis Grizzard to Hollis Gillespie to Jeff Foxworthy to Ludacris to TLC to Dallas Austin - too many others... Shit we have one of the biggest Hip-Hop meccas around!

Come on... we're talking about legendary folk - the kind only GA can make...

The Allman Brothers, Widespread Panic, John Mayer (for five mins), the symphonies around the state and too many transplants to list...

The songs that were written here? or about here? For here?
Shit we could even draw a line to Billy Joe Shaver - "Georgia On  A Fast Train"
Or Little Feat "Oh Atlanta"
Or Elton John
Drivin N Cryin
there's an opera singer somewhere... can't think of her name
Angie Aparo
the guy from Air Supply... the one that held one of the longest notes in a song?
Or John Mayer
Or Dave Cobb...

We have a state song about a man lusting after another woman.. you can't more country and blues than that...

Gosh, need I say more?

Do I need to pull out the Brendan O'Brien and Butch Walker cards? Do I?

So why not go to the backyard and get the music. Is it gonna be harder than Music Row? Maybe it might take a little bit of muscle to get it done. Take one movie or TV show and try it. We've got the resources - we've got the talent - why not?

And we don't need to go to a "ROW" to get it. It's easily accessible. All you gotta do is go to a music venue around and ask. Try maybe putting it in the contracts - record labels make you do it - just a thought.

But the community cuts it nose off to despite its face at times and we become too safe to try it. I used to encounter a lot of this when I first got here. So I stopped hanging with them - mainly due to a new job that I had and it took me around the world without even leaving the state. Now that I am on my own I am finding out, that the world is so small and yet it thinks it's huge... not to try it.

So what do I do?

That's something that's been coming up lately... how do I start the conga line? You ask the stupid questions... you challenge it all - by doing it myself?
Maybe... do I enlist the KISS army? or Bubba the Love Sponge's listeners? Perhaps...
Do I say a word to anyone... sorta.

We shall see... I told someone "Don't tell anyone what you are doing... just do it." I need to go back to that drawing board.

So why the silver platter analogy? Well, sometimes we expect a silver platter handed to us for we think we are special... well we aren't. Sorry. We become special when we do something spectacular - huge - big time - whatever your choice word is. Until then we are just a bunch of idiots trying to butt in line.

And to the owner of a huge music festival who prides itself in keeping it real within the state -
Question: "why did you go outside the state lines to get PR?"

Now I didn't ask that to him because it was after the "Nashville talk"... and that would've been tacky right?