Tuesday, July 21, 2009


This the story of The Escape From Panty Drawer Island. This is for entertainment purposes and also for those who have ever been in that mission or hunt for something and gave up and then they appeared. Sometimes I feel that God is playing with me, by taking things out and hiding them, then once I have walked away from it, places that item back to reassure me to have faith.
So hence this story.

I went home to VA for Christmas 2 years ago, surprised my folks cause we had told them we weren’t coming-lack of funds and Steed had to work during the whole break. So I snuck up there early in the morning and 9AM my folks were surprised to see me on the day after Christmas.

The next day or so we had fun, catching up, running along with them on errands and having a “late Christmas” with my brother’s family like have done for years. So, my older brother gave me a VISA gift card for $100. So, my mom and I went shopping at Tyson’s Corner and went to Nordstrom first. I used to work there, so all of my customer service standards are held there. If you give me lip service I tell you this, “well at Nordstrom this would never happen.” So we went to the shoe dept, the clothing dept and well the lingerie dept. I love pretty –let’s use the word unmentionables… as my grandfather would’ve said. But I am a cheapskate so, I don’t spend much on them. I find things at all the lower end retail stores so to spend $40 bucks on 2 panties is a BIG deal. So I picked out two, one from Betsey Johnsen and one from Honeydew. Ok. There you go, that’s the purchase.

Now I love these unmentionables and I have to plan to wear them cause if I wear them to the gym, I look stupid with ruffles and yoga pants right? (Hear the gym chatter: “OMG she’s either got some major cellulite or she’s wearing a diaper!”) So, a lot of times I will wear them on the days I don’t go to the gym. I have to really just wear them with Jeans…. But I love them anyways. I started to wash them very carefully…then gave in put them in a lingerie bag-so they aren’t ruined.

Well, about March of this year, I went to look for them, in my Panty Drawer where it all pops out all over the place when you open it cause there are many pairs that you have to stuff it all back in, hold it down with one hand and push it closed with the other. So, I combed through it, I dumped it on the bed, I looked below in the drawers underneath, I looked in the back of the drawer. Nothing, nowhere to be seen. UGH!

I went to the closet and COMBED through the dirty clothes, I dumped it out on the floor. I went through each bag that was in there. Nothing. I went through my shoe boxes. Nothing. Ok onto the bathroom – nothing. I went down stairs to the washer and dryer I pulled out the wet clothes, the dry clothes , the iron pile and the dirty ones there in line to get clean. NOTHING.

All this is happening, and I have to get to work. So I have checked my art studio, I have checked my gym bag, even combed through Steed’s car and drawers THINKING it got hidden. Black ruffled unmentionables do blend in with other black clothes. SO I am racking my brain on the way to work.

I think ok, when was the last time I wore them, usually oddly enough I could you tell this, but this time I couldn’t. So, I knew if I asked Steed, he would ask me, “how could you lose something that was on you?” The look of suspicion, the raised eyebrow and the silent treatment would follow. So, I couldn’t say anything to him. I didn’t want a divorce, based on the fact I couldn’t find my black ruffled unmentionables that were supposed to be ON ME, and now I couldn’t find them.

Back home, after work, act cool Jill act cool. I slide in my searches, over the next week or so, as if I am cleaning out and reorganizing. I go through the sheets to make sure NOTHING got caught in the pockets of the sheets, I go through my father in law’s sheets as I wash them to make they weren’t there. This goes on for another week. Rinse and repeat. Steed in the meantime is unemployed, trying to figure it out and it’s hard-the appeals go wrong, our cars break down, I have art gallery stress through the ceiling, etc… stress is hitting the fan and all I am worried about is a pair of panties.

SO finally I think I will check with the gym. I got up to the front desk, WHISPER my lost item. I am thinking I lost them while changing and someone picked them up and is wearing them today or they were put in the lost and found pile… You know, Betsy Johnsen is pricy so… gotta think that way. So, I tell the girls, and they giggle. (Great now I am known, as “she’s the one who can’t find her panties!”) They try to help me. No results. So as I walk out I stop a girl, who works there, to ask. She says if you don’t know when you lost them they were thrown out. UGH! Ok so a few more days go by and it’s April something. I have to tell Steed that I can’t find my panties.

It’s a Weds night, my wonderful maid had been by to clean and I LOVE COMING home to a clean house….it’s great. SO as you can imagine, I am tired, of a lot of things by now. Everything from this dang hunt, to money, to the weather to everything. But I haven’t been able to think straight about those things cause of the stupid ruffled black unmentionables that cost me 20.00! BUT the main thing is I hate to lose things. I can count one hand things I have lost. I thought well, it’s time to start on the hand.

So, I get upstairs to change out of my work clothes, I look down on top of a huge pile of magazines, papers, files and such. And guess what’s there: MY RUFFLED BLACK BETSEY JOHNSEN PANTIES THAT COST ME $25! TAAAAAAAAA DDAAAAAAAAAH!

OH I was happy, relieved, elated… and I turned to Steed, and said, I have been trying to find these for months! He looked at me, with the raised eyebrow and asked “how could you lose something that was supposed to on you?” I giggled and told him the WHOLE story- everything even down to the fact I had to look in his drawers. He just rolled his eyes and said, “well now you have found them. And let’s eat dinner.”

So the whole reason for the tale of Escape from Panty Drawer Island, was for me to have something so stupid to worry about while other things that would’ve giving me a heartattack and so I wouldn’t worry so things would work out the way they need to do. And in fact they have… we’ve have had some rough patches but things have always been ok.

I know those panties for a fact weren’t there when I left. And the maid would’ve put them on the dresser not on the floor on a pile of mags and files. So you tell me, is it God, fate or dumb luck?

I think it’s a little of all three-hope you had a laugh.

Sunday, July 19, 2009


WOW it's been a while since I have blogged. UGH. Sorry... So... here's my rant for the week...

Okay I am going to be completely honest and say I am totally burned out – I get this way at this time of year and I just usually shut down till about Thanksgiving . Then I am in craft overdrive till about one hour till Christmas has started.

We all have been there, tired of trying, exhausted of creating, burnt out on everyone and everything. All we want to do is go back to bed, pour a drink (a really strong one!) or cut a HUGE piece of cheesecake. At times we feel cheated because we are pulled in so many ways, we don’t have time for ourselves in fact we find ourselves snapping and snorting at our friends and family.
As of late, you can count how many people of the world have died, the summer air is different this year, the Braves aren’t doing well, and we are all on edge. Something is happening, it’s really almost nerve racking. I have found myself having more arguments with people that I love than ever. Yelling at the phone, actually now, I dismantle it so I can sleep in on Saturdays. I wish I knew the Italian mob, I would send them to all the 1-800#s, that I have been calling me and “say hello to my little friend!”

So you know what!? Don the Dunce hat and give yourself a timeout!

Go walk about the neighborhood – don’t forget your drink- it will give you the image of I am social, I really am… (Just kidding about that, but seriously sits outside).

If you have a front porch big enough to sit on, set up camp and “look” busy but wave and smile at the dog walkers, speed walkers and kid walkers. It will get you interacting with people-“what do you do?” “Well, I paint (or whatever you do), give them your business card or invite them into your garage studio. (“Don’t mind the mess!”)

Have a backyard grill off: A couple of weekends ago about four of us, all were grilling… I pointed at my neighbor across our yards and said, “My grill is better than your grill!” He said, “You’re on!” Then we went back to our worlds and made sure we weren’t burning our houses down. Then last night, I stunk it all up with fish. That’s okay I had a cheap margarita in hand, I had no worries at that second.

It’s been a hard few months in our land, here, but I feel that things are gonna be okay. I get frustrated with our checkbook, get angry with the struggle to create and then I just give up. My creative juices are dried up, my eyes are sore from crying, my ears are ringing at night. Don’t even ask me about painting… right now, I have no qualms in poking folks in the eye with a paintbrush. But I am gonna say that even though this past week can be labeled the week from hell, it was the weekend in purgatory.

I went to see an old friend, who now cuts hair, she is learning, did a wonderful job in calming my nerves and the hubby came home from a long day, and I worked on some small projects at home. Felt like I HAD TO PAINT but it would’ve been forced. Not good. So putting about the house, doing minimal things will lead up to the big project or a breakthrough of sorts in getting over our crazed minds. It’s a good thing, as Martha Stewart says.

But last night, we lay in bed, trying to watch TV and our signal was so bad, that I called twice to the cable company. So we turned it off, and tuned into the internet radio-went to KGSR in Austin, TX and clicked on “Listen Now” they were airing E-Town. E-Town is something I know of cause of my day job as a music publicist but its set on a stage and broadcasted all over. They had Loretta Lynn on there, and she is a hoot… She has everything you know under the sun but you know she doesn’t need it. She can live off of the bare necessities of life, friends and family.

So we felt like modern radio days of the 1930’s only if we could have the price of living back then now. It was relaxing and took your eyes off the ball for a while. I thought why haven’t done this before? So we hope to get that in rotation a couple of times of week.

Take your eye off the ball for a while, only if you aren’t a baseball player then just ask to sit out a game.

Wednesday, July 8, 2009

For those who can't read the myspace blog...

When you were growing up there was one thing you wanted - A big birthday party with lots of your friends there, right? As you grew up you, maybe started to plan a wedding, you wanted everyone to come - eh? And as you are growing up, you go to a funeral, one that is widely attended, and you think to yourself, "when I die I hope I have a lot of people come to my funeral." This is what I thought and still think as I grow older. Will anyone come to my funeral? Will I be remembered for something?
Steed's cousin died suddenly a few years back and the entire town of Ringgold showed up, the wake was 5 hours long. Everyone came out to see his family, his friends, and to say good bye to someone who died tragically. When my grandfather died, all of my grandmothers' friends, drove real slow in their big cars to the funeral to support their friend's loss even though he had been very sick for a long time.

When you hear on the news, that no one came to the funeral for someone, it's sad we think. And then we see something as grandiose as the Jackson Memorial we are grossed out but the enormous turnout. Or are we?

Remember folks, who still can, when Elvis died, when Kurt Cobain or John Lennon died, even Princess Diana died all at some level in their careers, gone with minutes and then had a termendous reception of fans and media to give their support. Today's media is larger - biggger-more available then ever before. So, think if this was back in the 1970's it wouldn't been "so big". From a media stand point. Remember John Jr, back at JFK's funeral saluting his father?

Remember the streets lined in Memphis for Elvis, Remember the turn out at the Dakota building for John Lennon. Think this: When Michael Jackson died where were you? I unfortunately was standing in front Coke products. (Maybe I should have been down a few feet at the Pepsi bottles) I was in the car on Howell Mill Rd when I heard about Kurt Cobain. Where you were when 911 happened? Me, I was on I-75 across from Dave and Busters (a game/entertainment center-maybe a sign that this wasn't a fun and game moment.)

I am hearing a lot of men of the cloth (pastors/minsters) complaining that this was "mass confusion + secular messianism." Well, that's funny coming from a mega-church minister. Mass confusion on what? Someone that reached out millions, probably more than these ministers will ever know? Secular Messianism-HUH?

HUH? Oy vey folks! This is where I get angry-ask my mom she'll tell you.

If you didn't like his music, never bought his music, like me, although I "like" it and grew up with it, I never was a huge fan of his. BUT I respected his talents, applauded his motivation and I appreciated it. Just like Led Zepplin, never liked them, but in the honest words of Al Kooper, "I got them."

SO that aside, hear me out. So back to the men of the cloth remarks. Ok Jesus tells us to love, honor and have faith with God to be a better person. All religions come from that kind of center. I don't care what you are... even atheisism has its center of widsom let's call it. It's just some folks got bored and branched out and now we have a huge collection of religions.

When I hear these men of the cloth remarks, I hear envy, jealousy, greed, lust-see where I am going with this? Seven Dealy Sins! These men should be acknowledging the fact that MJ (as well all other musicians, actors, dancers) was trying get people to escape on a journey that would let them forget their troubles. Move people, make them sing a long, cry, laugh, and think. That's all.

Ever heard of "we are gonna rock your world?"

And what are these mega-churches doing, I don't know-but I have to been to one, and to me it's way too much focus on "HOW MANY PEOPLE CAN GET IN HERE?" And to me, that's mass confusion + secular messianism!

Think about how this one man reached out to folks all over the world, more so than, anyone on this earth in our current lifetime. He shared his talents with the world from age 5, he changed alot with the entertainment business as well as creative process. He was misunderstood, alot. But wasn't Elvis, John Lennon, Kurt Cobain? Even Marilyn Monroe and Martin Luther King for that matter. Yeah it takes a certain ego to get up on a stage and move people with simple songs with simple words, but it takes a man to share the emotion of love to all.

I honestly believe MJ was definitely misunderstood and we as a society put alot of pressure on him to be who he was. We don't know the whole story, we never will, but we do know is that he brought a certain, love -joy-happiness-to all of us. No matter if you are a fan or not.

Go read the words to Jackson's song, Man in the Mirror. That's his song like Dylan's Blowin the Wind or John Lennon's Imagine or Joe South's Walk a Mile in My Shoes or Johnny Cash's Man in Black (the song where he talks about why he wore the color), listen to Billy Joe Shaver's Live Forever - read the words go find another song that you can move and build upon it.

So back to the funeral attendence, does it matter? Not really in the grand scheme of things but some times it makes you want to reach out and love someone even better knowing that it will make a difference in your world and theirs! So you will be remembered whether they show up at your funeral or not-as one that loved you no matter what.

Thursday, July 2, 2009


I know I know I know, I am late...

Ok this week has been a whirlwind and I haven't decided if it's been good or bad - so we are going with Good. Just for luck.

I have been asking myself as of late, what I am doing - why am I not selling-not just canvas but PRINT. And I came to realize my site http://www.scribblesstudios.com/ sucks. So, I am in the midst of putting something new together and figuring it out... don't know when it will officially get done but I'm working on it. I will be working on my Artfire.com store and Etsy.com store to make them look better maybe I will sell?

I dunno.. .it's hard to take-I spend all my life creating and creating... and nothing? I am NOT looking for a pity party I merely looking for a solution. Any ideas? hmmmm --------------

So, I understand NOT everyone is looking for paintings...

Enough cripeing...


bruceholwerda.com love love love his work. His work reminds of French clowns gone AWOL... or the movie - The Triplettes of Belleville...OH I LOVE THAT FILM! OH I hope he will answer me... I want his work at the Defoor Centre! NOWWWWWWWWWW - wait no... not really about next year...

http://blogs.abcnews.com/amplified/2009/06/good-gimmick-the-88-record-a-song-on-iphone.html ok this is really cool... this band in LA records songs on iPhone... talk about reaching out and touching someone. For 9.99 I wonder if it's worth it... anyone -how many crashes???

www.artfire.com - this is a good place to shop for any kind of handmade object...

GALLERY NEWS: The Girly Whirly Twirly is still up... Martha, Drew, Sharron and Christine all up and ready to be looked at and perhaps buy???

THE XY SHOW is coming up... so Aug 20 7:30PM so...

Song of the day: New Black Crowes song... don't know what to think of it... www.blackcrowes.com and download it...