THIS IS MY OPINION SO DON"T HANG ME
Stop Walking Away:
After much thought, by talking to myself in the car trying to sort out my thoughts I've come to the realization that we all need to think better. You know, "work smarter not harder" but "think better not longer." Cause we all know when time outs last more than 5 or so minutes, we start thinking of other things.
So, after trying to make sense on a post the other day on Facebook which I withdrew my comments and such after thinking better about it, I began to weigh my thoughts as if I was talking to those people in a room, face to face not keyboard to keyboard.
I am not gonna say what it was about, but note that it riled people's inner Buford T. Pusser to go kick some ass. I get the emotional uprising but there's more at stake here than that. Our perception of people who flip out is basically because our views of mental illness is so warped, confused and unforgiving that we tend to over look the real problem. When people flip out as we say, we tend to think he's lost his marbles or crazy. When friends and family members are not their usual self, reacting to simple tasks and situations in a questionable manner, don't throw away the key, talk to them, work with them for the simple task of letting out their junk in a verbal way, (as my friend and me say, to make room for more junk) can save people - calm them down etc. The old "get it off your chest" is real folks.
If someone is killed because of someone's behavior then try to figure out, pick apart to see where the red flags or signs were, in the person's past and where you ignored it. What made them do it - why did they do it and most of how can we break the circle of it happening again with others around us. Try to see others in the circle of the situation and check with them, to see how they can walk away stronger and better, so when they feel themselves change, mentally to make themselves do something wrong that could be life changing. Something like murder will leave a huge mark on their family and friends. Learn from this. The effects will be deep and if you think executing the killer is gonna end it, you're wrong.
I understand this on two fronts - both are personal; one could've been helped and one was helped beyond the efforts to point of default. But one was too scared of living and dying at the same time and the other just didn't want to put forth the effort and so they both gave up. Why? Probably after years of trying to help them, family and friends, gave up or didn't come quick enough or didn't know what to do and it was too late. The effects on the family and friends, are still reeling today. It's been 13 years for one of the two after their death.
So what to do.
Well, for one, if one of these peoples are sent to the hospital or prison, they will get a room, 3 square meals and monitoring. Not much of monitoring but people will check in with them. The hospital might more compassionate and the prison will try but maybe not as caring because they are overwhelmed with a growing population. I know there's a problem where the hospital will just keep them in for 24 hours and let them go. I don't know if anyone saw The 60 Mins Show on that Senator and his son. Where the son attacked his father in Virginia then killed himself due to the mere fact the hospital didn't have a bed for him. So he could decompress and get help. There wasn't a communication line between state hospitals for mentality distraught people so they had to let him go after a few hours, and also, health insurance wouldn't pay for one more minute. Had there been a Google search for hospital beds the dad would've driven clear across the state to get his son help. I mean Best Buy can search all their stores to find you the TV you want but hospitals can't.
Red tape sucks.
Prisons should, take this more seriously, and I hope they are. So I am unsure of the numbers, but I know people who go to prisons and try to connect to these people because of their own pasts. They talk, they hug, the laugh, the play songs but most of all, they engage with these hard headed people. By the time you've gotten to the big house.... there's alot of punk rock angst in you. Is this in every prison in the country? Probably not. Too much money. People learn from others that have gone through the same hell as them. The professionals, should learn this too, it works for AA and NA the other groups that are support oriented... and I am sure there's ALOT of this going on. So I suggested to my "group" in the car, that maybe they should keep this guy around on the basis of learning from him because there's more of this kind of a guy around. It could be applied and who knows, maybe after a few years, HE might come around to become a "productive citizen"as the courts say. He probably wouldn't make outside the prison gates, BUT he would be feeling better knowing that he conquered his demons and help others along the way. All this kind of person wants is the ability to sleep at night, to have a clear mind and be appreciated.
Back to the TV Show, when all I hear and see are what's NOT being done then I tend to think well, there's a lot of dirty dishes that need to be cleaned.
Mental health runs deeper than a band-aid and neosporin. There's years of therapy, talk and medical treatment, group and one on one therapy. Sometimes you need to stop and start over - ALOT. The length of the time to heal is a lifetime. Just ask a solider with PTSD. People have choices yes, but when they show signs of not thinking or behaving irrationally, then grab that person before it's too late. Get their thoughts elsewhere, for even just a minute. I've heard that you can even change a person when you smile at people on the street for the better.
I am not a mental health professional, I am not a doctor, I am a painter and a publicist. I don't believe in the death penalty and I feel that most misread verse in the Bible is "eye for and eye and tooth for a tooth." I am not the end decision of where one should go when you die. Although I like Dante's "Inferno" and the idea there... BUT I am a firm believer that when a problem arises there is a solution. There's got to be. We are too smart for our own good but we don't even know it. There are going to be many more issues like, movie theater, school and mall shootings. The best outcome was when the school administrator in Georgia just told the man - "Hey I love you." And that's all we wanna hear.
So I hope my "opinion" clicks with someone, and maybe opens the door to a brighter, better thinking, lovable world of theirs. As I sometimes will post on Facebook, Twitter or Google + "I dare you to hug someone today."