I put on my shields of armour. and didn't shower or wash my hair.

Well now we begin a new chapter... or verse or inning 

So yesterday was the year marker. #oneyear

It seems like it was years ago and weeks ago at the same time. 

I drove to The Cherokee Indian Reservation and back. 

It was a pretty day and traffic was easy. 

I got up there and traveled to the top where the Village was - a place to see how the Cherokee Tribe lived. And drove up a side curve and I think I spotted a tombstone markers - so I stopped and I chickened out going up there and just scattered some ashes in a corner. I poured water and dirt over him - I pretended I was trying to find something in my car and pouring out water bottles. 

I was protected with prayer, Indian cedar beads, a St Michael medal and my wing necklace. As I drove through the Smoky Mountains, I saw rafting businesses I recalled our trips as a child to the area. As I drove the two lane roads at times, I felt like I was driving through India. Narrow and curving with a drop off with the creeks. There were times when I had no service and it freaked me out, thinking I didn't pay the bill. 

So as I made my way I keep following the google GPS and I was not paying attention to the HUGE sign that said CHEROKEE INDIAN RESERVATION so I swung a hard right. As I traveled down the road I eye balled places to scatter ashes - one was Oconaluftee River which you are able to fish in. SO I took that as a sign it was ok. 

I drive up the side towards the village as I said before and scattered some and then more at a small babbling creek. I went into the Village gift shop and asked about possible urns or something. They recommended a wedding vase which looks like a heart. So it was perfect - red clay and native made. 

He will feel safe and sound. 

I saw beautiful baskets and bead work. But the Tribe was probably the first recycling plant. So when I threw my bottle away I thought now that's recycling right there. 

I am taking a native and putting him the hallowed ground and then putting him back in the trash to be recycled. I wonder what he will come back as. 

 Oconaluftee River 

So as I am doing this I say I hope you are happy and feel good. I love you - in various ways. This was very healing for me. It took a lot of time and effort to do this. I know he knows this. 

All I can think of is how proud that Steed was of this side of his heritage. He had a keen sense of direction, a good smell of character and walked steady. I couldn't crawl out of a paper bag. 

But what I couldn't figure out was what clan he was a part of so 

I bought a bowl of all 7 heads. 

It dropped while in bubble wrap and it got busted - red clay doesn't chip like china, it goes back to powder. So, the bruise landed in between two heads. So I would love to know which one he would be a part of.  But with not many family members left it might be hard. So I will go with the ones that were at the chip. 

Sometimes magic happens and you can't explain. 

I went to another gallery shop to see if I could find something else, but really couldn't afford some of the prices. So, I went on my journey. I rode to the river area and parked. I sat on a pile of rock and near a tree stump. I buried him under some rocks and then I was sitting in the sun, I began to cry and I looked down and saw this rock first. 

I took it as a sign that he was happy. 

I tried to keep in mind that I was on hallowed ground and sometimes you just to feel - sit still and feel the wind breeze by. I knew a lot of natives died there especially during the Trail Of Tears. This is where I tell the story - basically, one of the daughters of a Chief hid in the woods to keep from going and she eventually married one of Steed's great uncles. This happened more so than one would think. 

So I wanted to drive up to the top of the mountain but that's gonna be another time. I just wanted to do something on his year. 

I finally found it. 

After about 2 hours there, it was time to leave - The whole time I was walking about I was trying to recall a restaurant that we ate at the only time we went to the area. As I was driving I saw familiar white clapboard houses and it hit me it was there. Me being a city driver just did a sudden U Turn and pulled into the lot. I was there. The place where you brought your beer in a paper bag. It was a Greek place now, but I asked the waitress about it and she went to ask and said it was the Dillsboro Smokehouse - I was eating at the place! So while I had a beer and ate a Greek salad and some melt in your mouth fried chicken I cried. The waitress brought more napkins. She saw me to the illegal move too. 

So the whole trip was great - integrated with some great text chats with friends. One is going through a hard break up and the other is going to be a pirate soon. I love them both. Then a call with two very close friends - one who knows the signs mean something and the other one who keeps Steed in his ice box for safe keeping. Then I topped off the night with some wine and a long talk with my parents who sped all the way down to be with me that next day after he left me. And of course work stuff just like it did that very day a year ago. 

So today starts my new year - this is my New Year's Day. Will things change - no not really. Just I get to say this is the second time... I am carrying the Cherokee Indian ritual of the widow of not bathing or washing or brushing my hair. Once I am ready today I will. 

Love you to following initials. Some of them were the same folks I was talking to that very day. 

DA
DC
JH

NC

RW

AB

FK

As for my Wish bracelet - I put it on this morning and while I was in the shower it came off. I wished for something and as the belief goes, it may come true if I believe in it. Maybe the quicker it falls off and the sooner the wish will come true?